I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
