I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
