i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize