bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
