We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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