Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
