If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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