arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I got inside last night via doggy door
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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