I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
