Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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