I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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