walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
