he thought i was a dude.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
