yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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