Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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