I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
