So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
