who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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