so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
