New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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