We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
