I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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