well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
