I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
