her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
