I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
