I just pynch a tree in the face
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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