Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
