Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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