C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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