Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
