There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
