My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So here I am, sexting at work.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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