This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
