I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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