Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
