I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
