I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize