She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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