And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
