hell yes lets make some ravioli
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
