So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize