were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
