Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
