every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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