when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
