his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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