Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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