He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I want her autograph on my taint
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize