just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
