hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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