Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
50% drunk capacity currently
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
