Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
