Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
