how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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