Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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