If i come over, it means nothing
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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