Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
