I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
