susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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