Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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