i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
