I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
