I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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