i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
