Say something about gay babies.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
