You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
