just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
