Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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