i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
